Go to College

Major in something interesting, yet impractical; like English, Philosophy, or Art History. It doesn’t really matter because you won’t be going to class much or graduating. Don’t go anywhere too fancy where you may make connections, and don’t go to a trade school where you may learn a marketable skill. A nice state school will work just fine. The goal here is to get out of your parents home and meet fellow derelicts (read as, make drug connections) while incurring just enough in school loans to keep you cash poor for a decade or so. Embrace the “college life” (read as, binge drinking), and enjoy yourself! But don’t get too used to it, you won’t be there long.

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